Category: Poly

Poly

Break-Ups in Open Relationships: Your Survival Guide

break-ups in open relationships non monogamy open relationships break up sad broken heart

Break-ups are hard -- especially in open relationships. While non-monogamy is more common than ever, very few people will understand exactly what you're going through. Close friends and family may not know how to help you and might not even try. Or worse -- their judgment will make the healing process more difficult. There is no simple road map for...

Poly

Preventing Break-ups in Open Relationships

non monogamous trio fighting poly fighting

As a counselor in private practice in Berkeley, California, I see a lot of clients who are navigating the complexities of some form of open relationships. Some practice the swinging lifestyle, others form triads, some are married but have outside long-term relationships. Most have gone through one or two painful break-ups in their explorations of this relationship style. To help...

Poly

Interview with Janet W. Hardy, Author of The Ethical Slut

Interview with Author Janet Hardy

We at SwingTowns are thrilled to share with our readers an exclusive interview from Janet W. Hardy, co-author of the bestselling book The Ethical Slut. SwingTowns: Besides being sex educator, you are also the author/co-author of eleven books, including the bestselling book The Ethical Slut. When did you decide to become a sex educator and author, and why this profession? Janet...

Poly

What To Do When You Feel Like A Third Wheel

The stirring of the old green eyed monster...

The truth is, monogamy doesn't come naturally to most humans. Oh, of course we try; we try hard. But all of human history is littered with the failures of enforced monogamy. We cheat, sneak behind our partner’s back, have one night stands, go on business trips, and operate under a “don't ask don't tell” policy, all the while struggling with...

Poly

5 Signs You Might Be Happier in an Open Relationship

How do you know when you’re truly ready for an Open Relationship? Only you can know for sure...

If you’re reading this, I think it’s safe to say that you’re at least considering opening up your relationship. While polyamory, swinging, and open relationships are still a bit taboo, they’re becoming more and more mainstream, which means more people are looking to take a leap into the lifestyle than ever before. How do you know when you’re truly ready?...

Poly

On Egalitarian Polyamory

Egalitarian Polyamory

On Egalitarian Polyamory I began my journey to polyamory much the same as many newbies do. I was in a failing relationship and trying anything possible to keep it afloat. I suggested an “open” relationship to my then boyfriend. He agreed. And, in the spirit of competition, I began immediately looking for dates. I was terrified he would find someone...

Poly

How to Balance Time with Multiple Partners

Important Poly Time Management and Communication Skills

One of the books that significantly impacted my relationships is Gary Chapman’s #1 New York Times bestselling book, The 5 Love Languages. In it, Chapman posits that everyone has a preeminent “love language” that best illustrates how they flourish in romantic relationships while both giving and receiving love, attention, and affection. “Your partner may express love in those ways, and...

Poly

How to Join a Couple Without Losing Yourself

Male Unicorn Sighting

Many couples dream of finding a third partner (sometimes called a unicorn), which means solo non-monogamists interested in joining have the potential to be in high demand. Couple-solo threesomes and relationships can be a sexy way to play, but can also be risky when it comes to interpersonal dynamics. It’s all too easy to get lost in the energy, passion,...

Poly

The Four Keys to Communication in Open Relationships

Open Communication

While excellent communication skills are a prerequisite for any healthy relationship, they are even more crucial in any kind of open relationship. Forget complex formulas for polyamorous communication! Any communication techniques must be simple enough for you and your partners to utilize them when there is a conflict, emotions are high, and no one is thinking clearly. When one or...

Poly

Fighting Fair

Are you fighting fair?

Ok, now you've done it. Despite all your best efforts, the inevitable conflict with a partner has arisen, and the fight is on. The question is, are you engaged in healthy conflict that will help everyone involved get what they need and be happy? Or are you dancing on the rhetorical battlefield, using your words to score points and share...