Tie Me Up, Tonight If You Please

Bondage could be something you’ve thought about for ages, or it could be something you’ve just decided to try, but either way, it will provide you and your partner a grand escapade.

You don’t have to be an expert in intricate bondage to enjoy the pleasures of being tied up. Just like anything that’s worth working toward, people who enjoy bondage start out as beginners.

If you are anxious to experiment in bondage, chances are you’ve talked about it with your partner for some time. For all the fun it provides, bondage is not that hard to do, but there are rules that need to be followed, because bondage can cause damage.

Know your partner

That is the first rule. If your fantasy is to meet someone in a bar and have them tie you up, make that person be your significant other. That could be the start of a great fantasy, but letting someone you don’t know bind you for a sexual encounter is not a good idea.

That means the first thing you need in bondage is not ropes, or handcuffs, but trust. Not only is it the first thing, it is the most important thing. In allowing someone to tie you up, you are giving them control over your body. Make sure you are giving that control to someone you know, and trust.

Material needs

Once you have established trust, you need objects you can use to bind your partner. If you’re sitting watching TV, and all of a sudden you say, “Let’s go to bed so I can tie you up and have my way with you,” you don’t need specialized equipment to get the job done.

Some of the things you might have around the house that could work:

*Torn pieces of material or sheets

If your bed is not set up for bondage, and it may not be your first time, you can buy draw pulls at the local hardware store and attach them to the wall next to your bed. If you do that you will probably need extenders, which means you can buy ropes there.

What sort of rope you buy depends on you. Most books and websites suggest natural fibers, which suggests hemp or cotton. There are so many different types out there that once you become an expert you have a great choice.

There are rules

The first thing you need to make sure you do is not to make the bonds too tight. You can damage skin, or cut off circulation, if you tie the bindings too tightly. There needs to be a little wiggle room, not only for safety, but to keep from leaving permanent marks on your partner’s wrists, or ankles. While they might find their new signs of kink fun to wear, they may not like it if they have to go to family dinner the next day and explain them to their relatives. Of course, for some, that might make for interesting conversation.

In this, as in all things that are considered a little kinky, you need to have a safe word. Don’t make it something you would use during sex. Some people are known to utter no, no, stop, and then more. Use something different, that you can remember but is not something used in everyday conversation.

Start slowly. The excitement of being bound, or binding your lover, for the first time can be a little overwhelming. It is important for keep your head and make sure you don’t let the excitement overtake you. Your first few attempts should be slow and steady.

Always keep safety scissors near your play area. If something goes wrong, or if the bound partner panics, you need a way to undo their bonds without messing with knots. The scissors are a necessity. They may not be needed, but it is best to have them on hand.

Keep things fun

If you decide, at the spur of the moment, that you want to dabble in tying up your partner, you might spice things up by taking a trip to the local sex shop. There you will find toys to enhance your adventure. Some of those things might include fuzzy handcuffs and blindfolds.

Part of the fun of bondage is giving over to your partner. Many people say it’s acquainted only with BDSM, but bondage isn’t just about the physical side, it’s also about the mental part.

Teasing your partner with feather dusters, light touches or even whispering a fantasy into their ear while they squirm and dream about your propositions can set a fantastic scene that could end with mind-blowing orgasms.

Bondage is a fun activity, but don’t lose your mind and not remember to check on your partner’s well being. As always, keep things safe, sane and consensual. Listen for safe words, remember to check that bonds are not cutting into someone’s skin, and, above all, make sure the bound partner is enjoying themselves.

Once you’ve enjoyed your first foray into bondage, and decide it’s something you want to continue, do a great bit of research. Visit various sites, read books from experts and buy equipment that you want to experiment with.

In the meantime, have fun with your first attempt. Because, after all, that’s what experimenting is about…fun.


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Melinda Barron on Blogger
Melinda Barron
Melinda Barron is a multi-published erotic author specializing in BDSM and menage stories. You can find her work on Loose Id, Resplendence Publishing and Blushing Books.