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Have you ever tried to invite your vanilla friends to your swinger parties?  Sometimes this turns out great, and other times, it fails.  Sometimes it fails terribly…

Fifteen years ago I attended my first swinger party and was completely clueless. My childhood best friend invited my husband and I to her house for a sexy gentleman’s club themed party. Knowing her, the theme didn’t surprise me. I RSVP’d and started planning with my husband just like I would any other gathering.

On the day of the big night, I arrived in my casual jeans and t-shirt to help her setup. You know, move furniture and prepare food. A few minutes before the guests arrived she slipped away to change into her very sexy stripper attire. When she came back, I teased about how hot she looked while greeting guests with her. (Again, I thought nothing of this!)

Afterwards, my husband and I had a chance to get ourselves ready for the night.  I was so excited to show off my outfit. Having had a baby a few months earlier, I wasn’t ready for the “sexy” attire she asked for, so I had borrowed something special from another friend. It was a sexy stripper fat suit —  Complete with red thong and spinning tassels — something I would feel great in!

Dear Lord.

My best friend didn’t know what I was up to as I was planning to surprise her.

She was definitely surprised!

As you can imagine, my attire received a lot of attention and laughs. It was abundantly clear that I didn’t get the Memo. Looking back, I feel more like the village idiot than her silly, always optimistic, smiling friend.

After a few hours of casual conversation and drinks, my husband pulled me aside and suggested it was time for us to leave. He hinted that he thought they were waiting for us to leave.  (I was still clueless.) For the first, and only, time in my life, we were the first couple to leave the party. While driving down her long driveway, my husband clued me in on what the theme of the party really was.

Did I say village idiot yet?

This, my friends, is why you should have a conversation before inviting your vanilla bestie to your swinger party.  No matter how much you think they know, you can’t be entirely sure unless you chat it out.

Have you successfully mixed vanilla into your swinger parties?

Tell us how you did it in the comments below.