Tag: non-monogamy


Break-Ups in Open Relationships: Your Survival Guide

break-ups in open relationships non monogamy open relationships break up sad broken heart

Break-ups are hard -- especially in open relationships. While non-monogamy is more common than ever, very few people will understand exactly what you're going through. Close friends and family may not know how to help you and might not even try. Or worse -- their judgment will make the healing process more difficult. There is no simple road map for...


Preventing Break-ups in Open Relationships

non monogamous trio fighting poly fighting

As a counselor in private practice in Berkeley, California, I see a lot of clients who are navigating the complexities of some form of open relationships. Some practice the swinging lifestyle, others form triads, some are married but have outside long-term relationships. Most have gone through one or two painful break-ups in their explorations of this relationship style. To help...


Ladies: How to Get Better Sex From Your Man

If you think your man is getting more sexual pleasure than you, you’re probably right: research shows that men are more satisfied than women in the bedroom.  Honestly? Not cool. You deserve to get the big O -- or at least hop off without any sexual frustration -- just as much as the guy(s) in your life. Luckily, it’s nothing...


5 Signs You Might Be Happier in an Open Relationship

How do you know when you’re truly ready for an Open Relationship? Only you can know for sure...

If you’re reading this, I think it’s safe to say that you’re at least considering opening up your relationship. While polyamory, swinging, and open relationships are still a bit taboo, they’re becoming more and more mainstream, which means more people are looking to take a leap into the lifestyle than ever before. How do you know when you’re truly ready?...


How to Join a Couple Without Losing Yourself

Male Unicorn Sighting

Many couples dream of finding a third partner (sometimes called a unicorn), which means solo non-monogamists interested in joining have the potential to be in high demand. Couple-solo threesomes and relationships can be a sexy way to play, but can also be risky when it comes to interpersonal dynamics. It’s all too easy to get lost in the energy, passion,...


The Four Keys to Communication in Open Relationships

Open Communication

While excellent communication skills are a prerequisite for any healthy relationship, they are even more crucial in any kind of open relationship. Forget complex formulas for polyamorous communication! Any communication techniques must be simple enough for you and your partners to utilize them when there is a conflict, emotions are high, and no one is thinking clearly. When one or...


Fighting Fair

Are you fighting fair?

Ok, now you've done it. Despite all your best efforts, the inevitable conflict with a partner has arisen, and the fight is on. The question is, are you engaged in healthy conflict that will help everyone involved get what they need and be happy? Or are you dancing on the rhetorical battlefield, using your words to score points and share...


Adding a Third to Your Relationship

The More the Merrier...Maybe?

The First Step to Adding a Third to Your Relationship: Don’t Do It Yes, I said it. Don’t add a third to your relationship. “But you’ve been in triad relationships before!” you may cry. You certainly know a lot about my personal life, and yes, I’ve been in a number of triads, both MFM and FFM. It wasn’t easy, but...


Keys to Opening Up

The only real way to know if opening up your relationship is right for you, is to have a fully transparent conversation together.

A recent article came out in the NY Times that posed the question “Is an Open Marriage a Happier Marriage”. At first glance I was excited to see this. I immediately considered how amazing it is that the topic of non-monogamy has become mainstream enough that the NY Times would feature an article on the topic. And then, I read...


3 Ways Science Suggests Polyamory is Good for You

Before we get started, I’m going to make one major disclaimer: Polyamory is not for everyone. Instead of thinking of polyamory as a choice, consider regarding it more as an orientation. Take it one step further and understand that orientations are more like a spectrum than a definition. This will make thinking about “polyamory” a little easier on the mind...