Tag: open communication

Sex

How to Get the Sex You Crave: Communication Style and Relationships

Take a leap. Nothing will change unless your communication does.

So you’re having trouble getting what you want sexually from your partner(s), huh? Or maybe the honeymoon phase has ended and you’re realizing that in order to rekindle the sex flame, you need to start talking more openly about trying something new? I can’t tell you how many people, couples and individuals, have come into my psychotherapy office with this...

Dating

A Starting Point for Setting Personal Boundaries

Everyone has personal boundaries -- physical, mental, and emotional.

Remember the terms and conditions you agreed to when you signed up for Facebook? Oh, you don’t? You mean you just scrolled to the bottom and clicked “Agree” without reading the 3,500 words of legalese? If you are like everyone else, chances are that you didn’t read Facebook’s terms and conditions, you haven’t given them a second thought since then,...

Poly

What To Do When You Feel Like A Third Wheel

The stirring of the old green eyed monster...

The truth is, monogamy doesn't come naturally to most humans. Oh, of course we try; we try hard. But all of human history is littered with the failures of enforced monogamy. We cheat, sneak behind our partner’s back, have one night stands, go on business trips, and operate under a “don't ask don't tell” policy, all the while struggling with...

Sex

Maintaining A Healthy Sexlife As Parents

The Secret SexLife of Parents

Before we were parents, we were a couple who did the best we could to make each other top priority. Sex was high on the priority list for both of us and we indulged as much as possible. Once our first baby arrived, like most new parents, we started shifting our focus. We were so excited about our baby and...

Poly

How to Balance Time with Multiple Partners

Important Poly Time Management and Communication Skills

One of the books that significantly impacted my relationships is Gary Chapman’s #1 New York Times bestselling book, The 5 Love Languages. In it, Chapman posits that everyone has a preeminent “love language” that best illustrates how they flourish in romantic relationships while both giving and receiving love, attention, and affection. “Your partner may express love in those ways, and...

Kink

Toys, Toys, Everywhere You Look There’s Toys

BDSM BallGag

So you’ve watched a few movies, read a few books and thought, “Hm, that BDSM stuff looks like it might be fun. But how do we start?” Dipping your toe in the BDSM pool is an intriguing thought. The first thing you need to know is BDSM is first, and foremost, a power exchange between two, or more, people. The...

Swingers

We Decided To Swing. Now What?

Meeting New Swingers

Welcome to the wonderful world of swinging! Now that you’ve surmised that your commitment, love, and devotion to one another will not be threatened by casual sex with other people, you can call yourselves swingers. Maybe you’re ready to take the first tiny steps into this lifestyle. Maybe you’re ready to dive right in. Regardless of how quickly or slowly...

Sex

Coming Out To Your Partner

Coming Out Kinky to Your Partner

“Ah, um, our sex is great…but could you maybe spank me or pull my hair next time?” I bashfully asked my lover of 3 months. The pause that followed left me wondering if disapproval (at the minimum), or a trail of dust leading out the door (at the worst) would follow! Luckily, his next words were thoughtful, and carefully chosen....

Poly

How to Join a Couple Without Losing Yourself

Male Unicorn Sighting

Many couples dream of finding a third partner (sometimes called a unicorn), which means solo non-monogamists interested in joining have the potential to be in high demand. Couple-solo threesomes and relationships can be a sexy way to play, but can also be risky when it comes to interpersonal dynamics. It’s all too easy to get lost in the energy, passion,...

Poly

The Four Keys to Communication in Open Relationships

Open Communication

While excellent communication skills are a prerequisite for any healthy relationship, they are even more crucial in any kind of open relationship. Forget complex formulas for polyamorous communication! Any communication techniques must be simple enough for you and your partners to utilize them when there is a conflict, emotions are high, and no one is thinking clearly. When one or...