The best thing about being in a sexually open relationship is finding fun ways to explore our kinks and fetishes together.
In the very beginning of our relationship, our exploration was limited to watching porn together. After awhile, we started sharing our kinky fantasies and finding ways to make a lot of them come true. Two years ago, we started attending BDSM and kink events. Weekend getaways that focus on kink might be the best way to add even more excitement to our sex life. When we first started attending events, we were a bit shell shocked. Now that we’ve been around the block a few times, we look forward to spending time in a place where everyone can let their fetish/freak flags fly high and proud.
Last month we went to The Geeky Kink Event in Hartford Connecticut. This event combines all things kinky, geeky, strange, fun, and sexy, and puts them under one roof for attendees to explore. Sounds overwhelming, doesn’t it? Here are five things I learned to do in order to make the best of a weekend event that’s devoted to sex, kink, fetish, and/or all of the above.
Be ready for anything.
We definitely weren’t prepared the first time we were at a weekend kink event. Many fetishes I thought were “too farfetched” turned out to be a lot more common than I realized. We also learned that who partake in uncommon fetishes can be as “normal” as someone who lives in your neighborhood or as “out there” as you might imagine they ought to be. Don’t let yourself get too weirded out. Don’t let anything sway you from having a good time. The people you don’t understand aren’t there to make you uncomfortable, they’re there to have a good time, just like you.
Listen, adult diapers aren’t my thing. Neither is needle play. Neither is pretending to be a dog, cat, horse, or panda bear. I’d never go to an all gender glory hole party. And being publicly humiliated and criticized over my appearance or aptitude is the very last thing that would turn me on. But let’s face it, it’s not all about me. I don’t have to understand or be comfortable with everything that everyone else does. Most people (including us) come to an event like this for an opportunity to explore fetishes that can’t be an everyday part of their lives. The Geeky Kink Event is a safe space for people to express themselves. The last thing anyone needs is to be judged by others.
Watch and learn.
There are lots of demonstrations, workshops, and play spaces at most kink events. Chances are, you aren’t a card-carrying expert when it comes to kink play of any kind. Even if you already have experience in impact play, rope bondage, or hypnosis, you’re bound to learn from others at this event. If you’re new and curious, this might be the perfect time to get a little more up close and personal with certain activities and see how others are doing it. We knew we wouldn’t play in the dungeon, but we spent some time watching others at a respectful distance. As a result, we picked up some new ways to do our favorite things.
Buy something new.
Be careful not to blow all of your money, (unless that’s your fetish) but do make a point of buying something new. There are plenty of vendors who sell high quality products for all kinds of kinky fun. Many of them will gladly demonstrate or explain how to use the items they sell. We bought some new accessories for electro-play. We also chose hand-crafted restraints, a new flogger, and a hand carved paddle to add to our collection. Shopping at a kink event is always an adventure for us.
Try something new.
I like what I like and I know what works for me. Even when it comes to kink, I tend to stick with what is most familiar and practical. But when was the last time I did something (that’s kinky and unfamiliar) for the first time? After taking an introductory class on fire play at the Geeky Kink Event, we both decided we wanted to try it. We bought the basic things we need and made plans to learn more about it and try it at a dungeon that allows fire play next month. We also enjoyed watching a hot wax play demo so we added that to our list of things we want to learn a little more about.
If you’re not ready for a whole weekend of kink, do a little research and find a kink based class or an evening event. We learn something new at every event we have attended. Events also give us an opportunity to step out of everyday life and put all our focus on our preferred kinks. We plan to attend the next Geeky Kink Event in central New Jersey as well as many more in the future.