12 Tasks for Your Sub To Do

Submissive Reading

Whether you’re in a 24/7 dynamic with your submissive, or you just want to keep your sexy dynamic on their mind until your date next week, it’s not uncommon for a dominant to give a submissive a task to complete. You can’t be around your submissive all the time, and frankly, it would probably be pretty unhealthy if you were, but giving them a homework assignment or three can be a really hot way to make sure they don’t forget who really makes the rules.

First, a quick note on consent, the key element that differentiates kink from abuse. Many of the tasks below are ways to assert control, even when you’re not around, which can be really hot when it’s a part of a consensual dynamic, and really not if it isn’t. You might also notice that all of the tasks below pertain only to the submissive and dominant assigning them, it’s not cool to include any other partners your submissive might have in your powerplay unless they’ve consented to it. Remember you’re your partner’s dominant, not the whole world’s dominant. Make sure you negotiate with your partner before incorporating any of this into your play.

1. Sexy Selfies

This one is a classic, whether you tell them a time in advance, text them when the mood strikes, or make it a part of their daily routines, having your sub show you your favorite parts of their body can make any old day just a little bit sexier.

2. Build a Habit

Does your submissive have something that they want to start doing? A new workout regime, hobby they want to learn, or a skill they want to develop? Making it a task from their dominant is a great way to make sticking to it a whole lot more fun.

3. Break a Habit

It works the other way too! Is your submissive trying to quit smoking, watch less TV, or practice better self-care? Having someone to hold them accountable to their goals and support them might be all it takes.

4. Tell Me A Story

Whether or not your bottom is the creative type, having them make a piece of erotic content for you can be a fantastic way to get into their head and see what they find really hot. Have them write you some filthy prose, record an audio or video of them telling you exactly what they think about when they touch themselves, or paint you a picture of the hot things in their head.

5. Naughty Librarian

If you don’t want your pet creating something entirely from scratch, you can also have them crawl through the endless supply of erotic content online and curate only the best for their master to watch. Create a Tumblr that only the two of you can see, fill an erotica anthology with post-its, create a favorites list on your favorite porn site (a site you pay for, please!). This is another great way to get into your submissive’s head, and the best part is, they’ve done all the work for you next time you need to brainstorm ideas for a scene!

6. May I…

There are a lot of things we do every day that we don’t think about at all, but making your submissive ask first is a great way to show them that they aren’t in total control of their body, you are. From asking before trips to the bathroom or playing their favorite video game, to getting outfit approvals every morning, inserting yourself into their daily routines is a great way to assert dominance. Just make sure you have your phone on you, so they’re not left waiting for a response.

7. Chastity/Forced Orgasm

If your partner has a penis you might want to put them in a chastity device (the ones for vulvas are much less practical), or you might just command that they are not allowed to touch themselves without your permission. Their genitals belong to you after all, no reason for them to need them when you’re not around. For a something similar and yet entirely different, you can require them to have a certain number of orgasms per day, and know that they will think of you when they do.

8. Sex Lab

Want your partner to learn a new skill, or experiment with something a report back to you? Instructing them to create sexual experiments on themselves can mean having them size up to a bigger toy so they can take more when they see you, having them learn exactly what kind of vibration they enjoy, instructing them to practice their deep-throating so you can use their mouth more efficiently, or whatever your pervy little heart desires.

9. Edge of Control

Edging is the practice of bringing someone’s body to the edge of orgasm and then removing stimulation and not letting them. Over, and over again. It’s a fantastic way of making your partner feel helpless and overwhelmed, and even more fun when they’re torturing themselves. You might tell them they need to edge three, four, or more times a night until they see you again. It’s up to you if they ever get to come.

10. Amateur Hour

Does your partner have an exhibitionist streak? Do you just like making them squirm anyway? Have them make you a sexy video or photoset to enjoy while you’re apart.

11. Serve Me

Have some errands you need to run? A room you need cleaned? A topic you need researched? Some boots to be blacked? What use is it having a submissive if you don’t benefit from it every once in awhile? You get that boring task out of the way and your bottom has a chance to “prove themselves” to you while they provide that service.

12. Playing Dress Up

Wearing a symbol of their submission is the perfect way to remind a bottom of their dominant all day long. Whether it’s a something simple like a piece of jewelry, a collar, or a piece of clothing, or something more intense like a butt plug, chastity device, or even piercings, it’s presence will be a constant reminder of your power.

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Bex Caputo
Bex Caputo is a sex educator, blogger, speaker, podcaster, and dildo peddler. They’ve been a proud and undeniable kinkster ever since they insisted on being served their meals in a dog bowl at the age of 8, (and even before that, probably). They’re a Virgo, a Hufflepuff, a pup, and a nonbinary queerdo who grew up into the pop punk skater boy they always had a crush on in high school. Visit Bex Talks Sex for more information.