Swinger, Polyamory, and Open [relationship]. They sound pretty straight-forward, but the definitions for these words isn’t always the same as their everyday meaning. I thought I understood these complex sexual relationships, but a little research brought me back to where I started. Still asking myself: What do these words really mean? How should we define these relationships?
Defining Complex Sexual Relationships
Everyone knows what a swinger is, but did you know you could be a single swinger? Since swinging has become the “lifestyle” it is no longer a term that is limited to married couples. Why? Because single swingers do like to date each other too! This helps them find life partners with the same view of non-monogamy. Can you imagine how much easier marriage would be if you and your spouse were swingers from the start of your relationship? (Lucky!)
Polyamory is generally a term to describe someone who is open to romantic relationships with more than one partner at one time. Sounds simple, right? I thought so too, until I discovered what Polyamory looks like in the fetish community. Now I believe it is the most multidimensional word of them all! Outside of fetish, poly is all about not limiting yourself and your partner to loving only one person. Within a fetish community, dominate and submissives have a “family wheel” in which the dom/domme is the hub and the subs are the spokes. In this case, Polyamory reminds me more of polygamy without the marital commitment.
Because Poly often describes those who enter into committed relationships with multiple partners, young couples prefer the term “open” instead. They feel that describing their relationships as “open” has less of a “let’s commit” impression; making it easier for young adults who think of themselves as somewhere between Swinger and Polyamourous to explain their relationship status to those they are dating.
How to Find Their Meaning
You thought you knew what swinger, poly, and open relationships looked like, but now you’re not sure. With all of this confusion, how can we know what someone means when they explain their relationship status? — Ask “what does [insert word] mean to you?”
We’re all different, and so are our relationships, sexual preferences, and practices. Talk about them. Discussion is the only way you will know how to navigate and understand these relationships.
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