Are You Secure Enough to Swing?

Everybody is sexually curious to some extent. Swinging may begin purely by chance, while others discover it after seeking a particular sexual experience. As you become more curious about the swinging lifestyle, it is important to consider whether or not you are secure enough. Assessing your preferences and expectations could be a helpful starting point.

Almost ready can be good enough! If we waited until we were totally sure, we would have missed out on a lot of things. Having certain characteristics is an indicator that your personality is compatible with the swinging lifestyle. Consider these factors before you decide whether or not you’re secure enough to take the leap.

Don’t judge others and be respectful

In the swinging community, people are open-minded about a variety of lifestyles. A good swinger recognizes that we are all different. You can also show maturity and confidence in yourself if you respect other people’s choices that are different from yours. To have a positive swinging experience, you need to know your values and who you are. Making choices based on your values reduces your chances of regretting your decisions.

Being confident doesn’t eliminate all insecurities. Most of us would like to change some aspects of ourselves. Putting things into perspective and not getting hung up on perceived imperfections is what makes you more attractive to others.

Capable of honest communication

Successful swingers are also capable of understanding and communicating their feelings. Although swinging may seem like it’s all about sex, it’s more about communicating with others and connecting. There is a certain amount of maturity required in order to talk openly about what you are comfortable doing sexually, to set boundaries, as well as to express your feelings following an experience. Let yourself process your feelings if you need to. Even in awkward situations, being open and able to communicate is a sign of maturity.

Taking care of your primary relationship

It is important to understand that swinging cannot mend a broken relationship. Some cracks may be temporarily covered by the excitement of something new. It is likely that swinging will just make things worse if you already have a bad relationship to begin with.

Everyone deserves to feel safe in their relationships. Feeling secure allows us to be ourselves, to be vulnerable, and express our feelings without fear of judgment or criticism. It is the foundation upon which couples can build an honest, fulfilling, and long-lasting relationship. When two partners make each other a priority, no matter what, that speaks volumes about the strength of their connection. Disputes will arise from time to time, of course; after all, all relationships face moments of conflict with differing opinions or values. But feeling secure in a partnership enables understanding and openness during times of disagreement. This ensures that both parties come out of the other side still feeling connected to one another with no lasting damage done.

You may experience high emotions early on in your swinging journey. Identifying your feelings is easier if you communicate openly and honestly. If your partner’s perspective differs from your own, you should be able to listen to it without getting defensive or critical.

Navigating any new journey can be particularly tricky and intimidating, especially when it comes to exploring your sexuality. Regular communication with your partner is key to building understanding and trust along the way; it’s important to talk not only about boundaries and expectations beforehand, but also to spend time discussing what happened during the experience. Being honest about what turns you on, off, and surprises you is an essential discussion to have after engaging in a different sexual activity. Additionally, be prepared to feel uncomfortable or confused – this is completely normal! A helpful approach going forward could be to check in with yourself and what emotions are coming up as a result of these activities. Your partner also has an instrumental role here – they can support you by being an open listener while finding ways they can make it easier for you to explore together.

Careful of your privacy

Make sure you consider how much change you are seeking. If you consider swinging a bonus activity rather than a core part of your identity, maintain some distance from your vanilla world and your exciting, new swinger lifestyle. Make sure your privacy is protected from the beginning so you can enjoy the excitement instead of worrying about being discovered. Avoid using your real names when creating swinger profiles, as well as creating a separate email address and/or texting account.

However, if you choose to fully embrace the lifestyle publicly, you will have less concern about privacy. However, you should still take some precautions to protect yourself.

Check yourself

After you and your partner decide to adopt the swinger lifestyle, take the time to reflect on your choice. The questions below have no right or wrong answers, but your answers will provide you with a clear understanding of whether you’re secure enough to swing. Do not be afraid to be totally honest with yourself.

The following questions will help you decide if you are secure enough for swinging:

1. When it comes to sexual fantasies and wishes, how honest are you with your partner?

2. What are your feelings about sex?

3. If someone were watching you during sex, how would you feel?

4. Would you feel comfortable observing others?

5. When you think about someone else pleasuring your partner, it makes you…

6. Is your current relationship strong?

7. How do you hope swinging will benefit you and your relationship?

When the time is right

Swinging doesn’t have a deadline, and there’s no competition. Think things over for a while before committing to this with your partner. This doesn’t mean that you should wait until all of your fears have disappeared before taking the plunge. It’s unlikely that you will achieve that without some lifestyle experience.

Swinging is typically more of a “learn as you go” process. Don’t worry if you don’t know all the answers. However, you should discuss your wishes and needs with your partner – both before and after an excursion. It will become apparent that those needs are ever-changing. Rather than moving too fast, take it slow! Adjust your course as you go, if necessary. When you’re feeling secure to swing, you can begin your journey confidently.

Ready to meet other swingers? Sign up for a Free SwingTowns profile and you can easily start finding open minded couples and singles in your area. Happy Searching <3 

“Swingtown is awesome and we have no complaints. There are tremendous people and wonderful couples on here that we have had the pleasure of meeting.” -wearesexy2015