So you have decided to explore your kinky side. Maybe you have been doing so for a while with a partner(s) or maybe you have always known you were kinky but never found anyone to share it with. Whether you are single or in a relationship finding a community of people where you can build friendships, learn and maybe even meet someone to explore with you can be a healthy thing. Humans are, after all, hugely social creatures but sometimes finding the people who you click with can be tricky. However, one great way of finding a kink community to be part of is to attend your local munch.
A munch you say? People in the kinky community often bandy around the word ‘munch’, assuming everyone knows what it means. However, for many new to all things kink, they have no idea what it is, where to find one, and what to expect. So let’s answer some of these questions.
What is a munch?
The term munch originated in Palo Alto in California in the early 90’s before there was a structured online fetish community. The first one was actually called a Burger Munch but as the idea spread and more were set up they just became known as Munches. A munch is basically an informal social gathering of likeminded kinky folk. They provide an opportunity for people interested in BDSM/kink to hang out, make friends, chat, and relax together. Munches tend to be casual affairs with relatively little structure or protocol. However, all munches are slightly different in style, so it’s worth trying out more than one. If you’re lucky enough to live in an area with multiple options, you can find the one that suits you.
Where are they held?
Organizers usually hold most munches in venues like bars, pubs, restaurants, or coffee shops. However, some take place in sex shops, libraries, community halls, parks, and even people’s homes, though the latter is fairly rare. A couple or a small group of local community people usually organize munches. They set up the time, place, and date, and serve as greeters and ambassadors for the event, posting information online and welcoming new people into the group.
Who goes?
All munches are very different depending on time, venue and location. For example a daytime coffee-shop munch is likely to attract/ appeal to different people than one at night in a busy city bar. There are also munches aimed at specific groups/ages. It is not uncommon to find specific munches like Under 35’s, Little/Daddy, Vegan, or Geek munches. However, as a general rule, they are attended by a huge variety of people. Some will be couples, some will be singles, and some may even be in relationships with multiple partners. There will be all genders and sexualities and span a wide age group.
The munch that I run attracts a diverse age range, from 18 up to those in their 70s. These individuals are into various aspects of kink. For some, it’s a bedroom-only thing, while for others, it’s a 24/7 lifestyle. Yet, they all meet happily together under one kink umbrella.
What to wear?
Again, this depends on the type of munch, but for the most part, they are held in public venues like bars and restaurants. You should wear whatever makes you feel comfortable and confident in such settings. No one is going to be bothered if you turn up in jeans and a t-shirt. You may find that some people at munches are a bit more dressed up than others, and some choose to wear a collar. You’ll also notice a higher number of piercings, tattoos, and eclectic styles compared to, say, your average knitting group’s meet-up. However, nothing about the attire should jeopardize the use of the venue or draw undue attention to the group.
What they are not…
Munches are not designed as educational spaces, but you will definitely learn things if you talk to and listen to people. Organizers do not set them up as teaching or workshop events. However, it’s likely that those will exist in your local community so asking people at a munch will help you find events like that.
Munches are not a kinky version of speed dating. Although kinky speed dating events do exist they are not munches and vice versa.
Munches are not pick-up events. If you go there assuming you are going to get yourself laid you are probably going to come away very disappointed.
Munches do not involve play events, and engaging in overt kink play will likely lead to removal. Such behavior often risks the group’s ability to continue using the venue.
What they are…
Munches are fun, social, casual, friendly spaces for you to make friends with people who live in your local area. They are opportunities to learn about your local community and build a network of friendships that will support and help you in your kinky journey.
So why not dip your toe in the water and see what a munch has to offer you.
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